The Stupid Ministry
by Bear-Bell
Summary: Harry wakes up after a terrible night and he doesn't know where he is. slash
1. Chapter 1

**Annoying Note- This is what happens when I have no sleep and I'm not in the mood for writing creepy depresing stories.**

**Also, this entire story is for Harry's POV.**

When I opened my eyes, I almost screamed.

There was someone else in the bed with me.

Did I have sex? No. I couldn't have... I must have. I mean, my bum hurts...

My bum hurts?

Oh, God. I did have sex. Now I knew I had sex.

I had sex with a man.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclamer- I own nothing.**

The Ministry sucks. Their parties suck, too. Where's the booze? You don't have a party for war heroes without booze. What were they thinking? I knew what they were thinking:

"Hey! I have a great idea! Let's get all the war heroes together! Maybe they can remind each other of the horrible past of our country!"

"Yeah! That's a great idea! Oh! Oh! Oh! I have a great idea! Along with reminding each other of our country's horrible past, they can remind each other about how much they lost, too!"

"Yeah! And let's not give the booze!"

"YEAH!"

Good thing I brought my own booze.

Scotch. Yummy.

"Give me that."

Malfoy is a jackass. What does he think he's doing?

"Didn't you bring your own?"

"I already drank it all."

He drank all of mine, too. Jackass.

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	3. Chapter 3

**More wierdness.**

Why do I have to give a speech? No one like's speeches. I don't like speeches.

"Ready for your speech?"

"Shut up, Dean."

"Jeez, Harry. I was just wondering. You look like you need a drink. Have some scotch."

_Yes_. Just what I need. The only way I can give a speech is if I'm totally smashed.

"Whoa, Harry. Slow down. You drink any faster, people will think your trying to drown yourself."

What's so bad about drowning yourself? That's what Lavender did, right?

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	4. Chapter 4

Your totally smashed."

"Thanks, Jenny."

She was just as smashed as I was.

"They want to give you a medal. I heard them talking about it. Order of Merlin First Class. Congratulations."

I mean, how can you not be smashed and wear that dress with those shoes?

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Your happy right? Order of Merlin and all?"

"Would you like to have it? I'll give it to you."

Jenny giggled.

Jenny shouldn't giggle when she's smashed.

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	5. Chapter 5

They gave us assigned seating for dinner. Can you believe that?

The ministry sucks.

Do you know what else? They assigned me to sit next to Snape and Pansy Parkinson.

"Ready for your speach?"

Now I know why salad forks were invented. They were made so you can stab the eyes from the person sitting next to you at stupid Ministry functions where they didn't give you booze.

"Put your fork down, Potter. They haven't given us the salad yet."

"If that comes anywhere near my body, I'm going to snap your neck, Potter."

I hate Slytherins.

I hate the ministry.

I want booze.


	6. Chapter 6

**Annoying Note- So here's some bit's and pieces of Harry's speach. Halfway through it, people started yelling at him.**

"I came here for this? It isn't even that big. Is this real gold? Does it do anything? I don't feel right having an Order of Merlin when Merlin didn't say I could have it."

"Does anyone else want this? Oh, yeah, never mind. I'm giving it to Jenny."

"Why don't they have booze here? If I have to look at all these people, they should give me booze."

"What do you mean, I should be grateful? Everyone's dead! And now we're having a celebration about it! Why don't we just go dance on their graves?"

"No! I'm not done yet! Your the one who told me to come here! Your the one who told me to give a speech! How can I come and look at everyone and give a speech when you haven't given me any good booze."

"I am most certainly not an alcoholic!"

"I only have to drink when I leave my house!"

"Oh please, don't sound so dramatic. I haven't left my house in two weeks."

"I don't like looking at you! That's why!"

"Well because only about 10 of the people who deserved to live actualy lived! Only five of yoiu out there really fought in this war! No one from the ministry did! And then you expect me to be all grateful to you, as if you've done something for me. If you want to do something for me, drop dead!"


	7. Chapter 7

**This is the end.**

How could I have sex with a man?

When did I have sex with a man?

Why do I feel so relaxed? I should go.

"I never got the chance to tell you last night, but I liked your speech.

I had sex with Snape?

Why haven't I burst into flame of something? Isn't that what happens to everyone who touches Snape?

"What happened?"

"They finaly gave you some booze."

Your kidding.

"You were quite agreeable after that."

Yeah. I can tell.

"Want to do it again?"

"I'll need some booze."

**Annoying Note- I really like the word booze, even though I don't like booze itself. Yuck.**


End file.
